I guess from what you’ve seen, got told or read, a wedding is supposedly the most magical perfect thing that could happen to a couple or your relationship. BEEP BEEP BEEP. Okay maybe it is & maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed & it all comes together on the day but did they mention the planning? The process? The stress, the pressure? Oh the pressure!! *disclaimer mid sentence: this is not aimed at anyone specifically I’m documenting MY journey to inform others that might be in the same situation I’ve been lucky to have a say in majority of what happens & support.
WOW HELLO STRESS OLD FRIEND
IT IS STRESSFUL at times you might feel like “why am I even having a wedding this is all too much” okay that’s harsh & not fair but if that’s how you feel then that’s how you feel darling, it does pass as the matters get resolved. You might have communication barriers because its a life event so close to your heart you’ll probably want to cry instead of speaking about it (okay maybe y’all not weak LOL) speak to your partner & figure it out, DON’T BOTTLE WHAT YOU’RE FEELING. It’s easy for people to say well we’re having a wedding discussion now, so say how you feel! Well because of the emotion attached or out of fear or respect you might say nothing, rookie mistake don’t do it, be a Bridezilla it’s your only wedding. Jokes don’t (well not intentionally). Oh & with the name calling if “Bridezilla” is what you get made out to be for wanting something different or having a different view then so be it, embrace it with some champagne darling.
So far this has been the biggest headache. We settled on a venue more than a year in advance just to be organised & secure our date, but to accomodate more people, we had to change the venue. I don’t know what made us think it would be doable but alas we started & some of the challenges were as follows. First of all we needed two venues one for the actual ceremony & one for the reception( they have too be separate due to religious reasons as we want to serve meat & booze at the reception)
CAPACITY & LOCATION
First of all when it comes to this Cape town is not very accomadating & will hardly be able to cater for you if your guest list even hits 300 or more especially when you are forced to take distance into consideration because a good amount of people wouldn’t be pleased with traveling too far for the wedding ( Well I would also get crabby in my entire wedding attire driving to this far off mystical magical place, buuuut if it was a beautiful dream venue for a once in a lifetime event I would have definitely stuck it, oh well)
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE $$$
Everything is so damn costly. No I’m not referring to you who can afford to only invite 40 people to your wedding.(Bless you, you have no idea how lucky you are) You have to consider costing per person & bare in mind we’re over 300 guests. At this stage you’re not only paying for the venue, the food & drinks per person but depending on the area probably how many breaths of air each person will take ( remember we were restricted with the choice of venue due to distance, capacity & obviously price) among 50 other costs.
BE A BIT SENSITIVE – UNDERSTANDING
So with everything you’ve just read could you guys please be sensitive when it comes to questioning details about the wedding. So much effort, detail & stress (& money) goes into wanting to plan “our perfect day” if you’re invited to my or any other wedding please don’t add to the stress, you could alleviate some pressure by simply RSVPing when you’re meant to & my oh my, if you don’t make it to the list please don’t ask me about it, don’t even mention the word invite to me ever its awkward & unfortunately we don’t have Gupta funds to accommodate every person we might know, love or have had a healthy history with.
Long story short we have found our venue & are happy with most aspects of it at the end of the day through all that you will encounter you need to preserve the quality of relationship you had before all of this & grow it even more for when after everyone attends the wedding & either praises the wedding or complains about the salt in the food, & the two of you are left that the only thing that will remain from the day are the memories & wow finally your marriage the main reason you even get to have a wedding & it’s so sad to realise that I’m sure many relationships suffer all because of a few days of ceremony & celebration. I’m grateful that not much has changed when it comes to our relationship, sure the odd disagreement won’t leave both or any one of us feeling too chuffed but that’s about it & we move on OH & I just have to mention those watch out for those “skanky things” that have no regard or respect for a relationship or that you’re actually getting married.( It’s always the people that could never have it themselves ) Please get a life man. Don’t sleep on it darlings I guess it will help to have supportive friends & family that will have your back with this (if you’re lucky enough & they aren’t looking for a more worthy suitor for their precious son or daughter haha jokes not jokes becuase you know there’s always a Dr or lawyer that would be a better replacement) & well it comes down to you & your partner & not letting anything jeopardise your relationship & ladies, well gentlemen too. DO NOT settle & give people chances, your relationship should be all in otherwise it will end in almost nothing. It’s 2019 we all deserve more.
Side note : I’d like to thank my fiancé for remaining supportive loyal & loving through MY experience on this journey, (if you know anything different hit my dm’s JOKES) I Love You Deran.
To everyone else I wish you all the love, loyalty & happiness always. Ps. If you got this far thank you for your time.